hum de dum dum dum, i dunno what to make of my life anymore lalala~( Whining and Art )

why abba, why?

ANYWAY:

Life? Mostly boring shit. I am nagging my folks for a blackberry though, so i MIGHT be able to irritate the LOB even more, DURING SCHOOL. Sides, it ain't like i do much else in class anyway. I'm probably the most literate person in the whole of 12th grade. (By which i do not mean i am the smartest, i just seem to be on top of what i am doing a whole hell of a lot more.)

However, i kinda feel like i've abandoned the other folks that i usually chill with, like on aim and such. I don't know, i kinda feel like i was a thorn in their side and they are happy to be rid of me. I never talk much, and i am SUPER INTIMIDATED by all of them, seriously. I don't even log into aim that much anymore because i know nobody wants to talk to me. So i hide my ass away in iscribble and just pile all my shit on the squad. I feel like a REALLY horrible person.

Also, I've noticed I'm a bit bipolar when it comes to the internet. I am really shy and meek and hardly say/type anything around most people, but those i am comfortable around I'm a bit of a spazztic angry rageful fool. There's probably some kind of psychological word for this, because i do it IRL too.

Artwise: Trying to get more into traditional again, failing miserably. But i am drawing fanart for my dear Michaela and i am drawing a new OC for my first art piece for class this year. He's a war victim, Russian, and has a hefty list of diseases. I think what i had was tuberculosis, typhoid, typhus, anthrax, syphilis (from a needle lol not sex) and i also threw in a broken leg and frostbite, as well as insomnia and he gets radiation poisoning down the line.....i drew a little sketch of him in iscribble, i'll load it.


Please don't rage at me if the Russian is wrong, I know next to nothing about it and this was just what i could research via namesites....

Yeah, but mostly i am dealing with my guilt of ignoring everyone...If that's even the right word, they might not even notice i am missing. I feel like a complete fool whenever i get a buddy chat session invite, i spazz and feel so happy, even though i know its not a big deal. Wow, anti-social on the internet? It can happen.

Or: How Sparks finally remembered she has this thing and got around to actually posting in it because of a million e-mails she got from this site.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so, christmas? yeah, no thank you. i don't know, it just doesn't feel the same. no ones particularly cheery, there isn't much going on, and i'm sitting here at almost ten o clock on christmas eve and really, i don't feel anything.

maybe its the compounding of events that have been occuring in my life that have forced me to view the world in a infinatley darker perspective than i have previously. Wthin this past year, i have seen the full spectrum of the evils of humankind and have bore witness to them all, only nearly not suffering the consequences by the closest of saves.

i don't fell older than last year. i don't feel wiser, stronger, older, or anything.

if nothing else, i think i've slightly numbed over, and blocked out alot of what i had previously.

But, i have made a close-knit group of friends, and they keep me sane. Really, if it werent for them, it woudnt be worth it to get up in the mornings. Even despite the fact that i'm only sleeping every couple of days. If it weren't for the times i've split my face laughing, or singing the night away, or typing till my fingertips were sore, i dont think i would be the same.

There is alot to be said for having another life away from the keyboard, something to keep to yourself that no one else knows about, to remind you subtly of it and keep you in a better spirit.

i think i shall cry when i have to go to school again and i miss out on seeing everyone. Timezones are a tight-assed bitch, and thus, i may have to rotate my schedule something fierce.

For now, i have to finish drawing christmas pictures and hopefully finish sketches by tommorrow.

Hope you all have a happy holidays, i'm not so sure about mine.

these are more for myself because this is an easy reference point to link people to if the need arises.


Notes for Wymans/Resistance/Civilians

Characters:

Lysander Wyman:

• 25
• male
• 6'7"
• tanned
• blonde/white hair
• grey eyes
• airplane mechanic
• Eldest, strongest physically of the three, is almost obsessive in his idea of the "right thing to do" not a very good actor though when confronted and has to lie. He is better at doing the hard physical work (rowing boats, making things (shelters, hidden compartments) and being a positive light on the situation. He tries his hardest to try and cheer everyone up and will work till he bleeds if nessessary.
• Kindharted, courageous, honourable, the closest you could have gotten to a 1940's knight.

Lyrin Wyman:

• 23
• male
• 5'0"
• pale as hell
• darker blonde-ish hair (dishwater blonde?)
• grey eyes
• accountant
• middle of the three, he is the most intelligent. The one who plans everything out and draws up schematics. A truley remarkable liar and actor, he could make a soldier think he was a ballerina and make him do pirouettes in the middle of the market square. If you find him out though and confront him, he is easily reduced to a stuttering fool. So, his plan has to go flawlessly for it to work, improvising isn't his forte.
• Spiteful, angry, but unwaveringly loyal to his siblings and everything the resistance stands for.

Lyra Wyman

• 19
• female
• 5'2"
• pale
• same shade of white-blonde as lysander
• grey eyes
• medic
• the youngest, and a mute. she will play no real part other than the motivation and reason behind lysander and lyrin's actions throughout the story. Not only is she mute, which is reason enough for any soldier to cart her away, but she was engaged to a jew before he was taken to a concentration camp. If this was found out, she would undoubtedly be taken away as well.
• She is kept hidden and almost never seen, maybe mentioned once ot twice unless she could be used
• gives medical assistance and food to the refugees that are being helped
• meek and shy and paranoid, always thinks someone is coming for her

Rules for civilians (? subject to be changed/modified)

• no two civilian characters per one person
• concerning children: would they have to be attached to an adult? separation is a likely circumstance, but lone children are likely to be a hindrance and such might have to be constantly watched? this may have to be debated
• if you are caught by a soldier, YOU ARE CAUGHT. you can't sneak back unless its clearly specified by said soldier that captures you. you can't magically escape, thats not very accurate. (however, it is possible to escape from the soldiers when they FIRST catch you before you are carted off to a car/camp)
• DRESS IN PERIOD. girls will generally have to wear dresses unless they are dressing as a boy to carry out a mission.
• we are the mods, we are in charge, we are the overlords, what we say goes. if we say your doing something wrong, you are doing something wrong. don't deny it. our logic is flawless

((see what i did there? lol))

that's what i got so far.

i don't actually now if contemplative is a word, but it sounds quite nice when you say it out loud.

Quite honestly, i think i've gone quite numb. Maybe i'm healing from everything that's happened, or maybe it's worse than i thought and i'm just recoiling into something that doesn't hurt me.

Needless to say, having someone who is seperate from all this in my life to talk to is really a treasure.

I have to thank each and every one of you who bother to take time in your lives to even bother with me. God knows if i were you i would not have bothered, i might even me sickened by how pathetic i am.

I'm so sorry for all of you who are sick or in a tough spot as well. i worry needlessly over those whom i care about, so to hear that you are in a bad way actually does cause me to fret. i am unsure if this is a good or a bad thing.

amazingly enough, i actually have something to say about my health. So i haven't been sleeping much lately, even moreso recently because lovely people keep me up. Usually i used to get three to four hours sleep each night, but over the last three days, i have counted that i have gotten five hours sleep.

Amazingly enough, i feel somewhat better in the mornings when i don't get sleep.

I keep hurting my legs though, especially my knee. I have a bad knee injury for those who don't know. So exhaustion, coupled with joint pain, tripled with a really bad diet doesn't help. I've been missing breakfast alot lately because i don't get ready for school in time and then i don't get lunch because i don't have time to pack one.

three weeks till school ends though. Thank god. this year has passed by so quickly for me, its amazing.

Here is where i just have to list those i have to thank though, as a last word.

thank you gnat, manda, laur, devvie, vicky, megs, jessi, sammy, kristy, mika, kris, nes, heather (both of you), lani, alex, leon, kels, nicole, alana, tobi, tana, illa, eggie, meeps, wynne, rose, sonny, bis, erin, beta, days, ri, sheep, spoon, clint, danyce, suey, both of you daivids and linda, my best friend ever.

all of you, no matter how little it seems you have had to do with me, have had an impact on my life. i have to thank you all for this small act of kindness you've all done.

i am kind of in a funny mood. i'll probably be reflecting on this later too...

SERIOUSLY.

AND IT DOESNT HELP WHEN I AM THE ONE BEING IGNORED.

I DO HAVE THINGS TO SAY THAT ARE IMERATIVE AND RELEVANT TO THE TOPIC AT HAND.

AND IT DOES NOT HELP WHEN YOU STEREOTYPE ME AND SHOVE ME INTO A LITTLE BOX.

I AM NOT IN THAT BOX.

I AM NOT A STEREOTYPE.

UNTILL YOU GET THAT, YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND ME

SO STOP TRYING, FAILING, AND THEN IGNORING ME.

IT. IS. NOT. WORKING.

/end rant

big emotion shit going on right now. won't bother you with the details unless you are terribly interested. even if this is "livejournal" i am consious of just how much i unload onto people. there are probobly only like, two, if that, people who know exactly what i mean when i refer to one degree of this angst, but there are many more degrees that compund and make this quite unbearable. I actually ended up screaming at someone today. and i never scream. i think i'm finally cracking. its a terrible feeling.

i'm actually concerned about my standpoint with people i interract with too. There are those i can't tell wuite plainly to fuck off, and then there are those i am trying to get closer to, but i can't tell if they want me there or not.

Fuck all of this man, seriously.

Other than that, i got no sleep sunday-monday and fel asleep monday night around 7, and then woke up at 2 in the morning. i was like "uhm......k..."

turned off the lights/tv, took off my glasses and went back to sleep.

but that morning i didnt sleep, i felt great. better than i usually do with sleep.

idk, i think maybe i need to go back on some meds. It wasnt so bad before even though i kinda overdosed. i'll have to find something equivalent to what i took in the states here.

OH, SOMETHING LOL WORTHY TO CLEAR UP ALL THIS EMO/NOT REALLY

ACCORDING TO WASHINGTON UNIVERSITY, I AM CLINICALLY DEPRESSED.

YAY.

I KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO BE FOR HALLOWEEN.

A FUCKED UP/NORMAL LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (one is for my gala night in the city for the film festival)

made a sketch~ all i need is the...uh...HOOD.....which is kinda imperative.....

( halloween costume/ranting )


other than that, i am once again the best junior black belt in australia. again. no one else turned up for my division so it was like "ROFL KAY WE PUT YOU IN HIGHER DIVISION NOW"    ".......kay.....>_>"    "LOLKAY YOU GETS GOLD NOW YES." "wtf what about the other division?" *ignored*

there is this sweetass picture of me where i seriously look like i am about to kill someone. IT IS SO KICKASS. but i am wearing my white uniform so i'm kinda erked about that. if you talk to me on aim ask and i'll send you the pic.

YEAH THATS IT. SPARK IS A BORING HO JSYK.

WHAT? WHAT THE SHIT? (the computer is being wonky)

bleh, art? yeah? do you care? no? fair enough. do you give to shits if i post some anyway? yes?

oh.....

well

then suck it up









....shove that where?

 

 

( ART. ) first bit of a bunch of pontchartrain sketches i did before i started. THE FIRST PAGE IS SKETCHED YA'LL.

 

this is subject to change because i'm not sure about the colours of the tail or the skin tone....i tried to go for a "tropical fish" type of colour theme, but i might go for something less.....blue....i look at it now and think of bee, which is not good in my mind, so i need to change this....

 

 

AS FOR THIS?

its just cute idk.

i drew it weeks ago and only just now got around to colouring it.

digital because i didnt want to fuck the original up colouring it.....

might do different characters in this style....

What do the majority of people in your life call you?
EEEEHHHHHHH.......to be quite honest, people call me either Sano or Spark and my real name quite evenly...

When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?
i had to scream at her after school to fuck off if that counts...

Have you ever seen your best friend cry?
errrrhhhhggghhhhh yes

Are you a friendly person?
FUCK NO. seriously, i'm nice on the internet but i am a TOTAL BITCH in real life.

What are you looking forward to?
....breakfast :l

Have you heard a song that reminds you of anyone today?
lake ponchatratin by ludo. i was thinking of having vis and a few other's characters in a comic...

When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
A few days ago...

What is something you're currently frustrated about?
fucking college. no kidding.

How many hours did you sleep last night?
....bout four?

Have you ever kissed anyone named Pablo?
UHM. NO. THE ONLY PABLO I KNEW WAS A MEXICAN. AND HE WAS AN ASSHOLE.

Do you have any friends that you've known for 10 years or more?
no, moving around alot does that....

Have you been to New York City?
shitloads

What are your plans for tomorrow?
School....drama.....music....CAD....swords....food....drawing...idk after that...

Is there one person who can make you feel better no matter what?
sadly i have not met them yet...

Plans for tonight?
WATCH HEROES LATE INTO THE NIGHT AND HOPEFULLY CATCH SOMEONE ONLINE AND CHAT. WHOOOOO HOOOOO

Have you had alcohol this week?
mmmmm....yarp.

Could you cry right now?
I have all the justifiable reasons, but no, i'm not.

Is there anything silver near you?
uh......no.....just art shit and my bed >_ i really hope my bed is not silver or i am fucked....

Whose house were you at last?
......fuck.....uh.....uh....karli's? i think.....yeah...

Song playing right now?
Cold- Crossfade

Do you wear the seat belt in the car?
yarp

Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else?
Not really.....my mother is well known wherever i go, so they usually know me.....the only time i can think of was when somone thought i was this dickhead's girlfriend....that was just fucked up...

Where was your last long road trip to?
dorrigo and then sydney took fucking forever....

Who did you sleep with last night?
...uh....no one...

Have you held hands with anyone in the past week?
No

How long have you been a regular user of the internet?
about sixth grade......

Describe your earliest childhood memory?
i remember crawling through the gardens of the house i first lived in once i was born....its freaky i can remember that

Favorite past time?
either reading or drawing

Is there something/someone that causes a daily annoyance in your life?
MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCKING DIP SHIT DUMB ASS FUCKING BITCHFACE SISTER. INSERT EVERY OTHER INSULT YOU CAN THINK OF AS WELL.

Best way for you to de-stress after a hard day?
sleep? chatting with my friends also helps...

As a kid, did you like to read?
FUCK YEAH. I STILL DO. READING FUCKING ROCKS.

Are you the type to tell someone if their pants DO make them look fat?
pfffff fuck yeah.

What is the most trouble you have ever gotten into?
mmm...almost got arrested once, but if that doesnt count i got a four hour detention. funny story.

Do you have any habits that others would find strange or different?
...when i ge excited i flail my arms around really stupid like?

The main goal of your life is to...?
acheive all my goals

A word that accurately describes your personality:
SPARK. HAHAHA. I DEFEAT YOU WITH MY CLEVER WORDING FOOLISH QUESTION.

A philosophy that you live by:
its not paranoia if they ARE all out to get you.

Are there any song lyrics that you closely relate to?
...there are a few, but they dont really relate to me as a person in a whole, moreso like sides of my personality.

Who do you feel most comfortable around?
mum, and my close friends. i can really count just about everyone i'm comfortable around on one hand.

If this person died, who would you turn to?
I WOULD HAVE NO ONE TO TURN TO IF THEY DIED. I'D BE REALLY FUCKED.

How do you deal with hardships and loss within your life?
block myself off from the world and re-emerge over it

What was the biggest challenge you've had to overcome?
fucking asshat dickhead. those who know of my past know what this means. emphasis: DICKHEAD.

Do you ever secretly look down on someone because of their "label?"
I try not to, but it doesnt help when they try to act the stereotype.

Why does almost everyone detest country music?
fuck if i know....

What is one talent/skill that you wish you could master?
drawing. FUK YEH.

Do you still want the same career you thought you did as a child?
hah, it'll never happen, so no

If not, what career did you decide you wanted?
theatre artistics.

Would you consider yourself an independent person?
pretty much yeah. i've had to rely on no one but myself alot.

How do you handle bad arguments?
i end up inflicting damage somehow. i get really violent when the argument gets bad.

If someone doesn't share your views/opinions, how do you react?
i try to understand how they think, but i am stubborn in my viewpoints and will not change my own.

How has this past week been?
pretty boring really......not much terribly cool

What is something you do that is wasteful?
i take long showers and we're in a drought...

Are you "blunt," or do you sugarcoat your words?
HAHAHA if you have ever talked to me then you know i am really blunt

When a stranger greets you, what's your general reaction?
i get really fucking weirded out. paranoia you know? i just try to get away from them.

Did finding out the truth about where babies come from surprise you?
not so much. i just thought you had to take a pill at first.

How did you find out the truth about Santa?
i pretty much always knew....i know it sounds stupid, but i kinda got the clue early on.

If you planned a roadtrip, where would you go?
FUCKING EVERYWHERE. i would visit all my buddies, and internet friends, and go to europe and see everyone there too.

Is there anything/anyone you would never admit to liking?
probobly

Is there a movie you love, but everyone else seems to hate it?
i'm sure there's one somewhere along the line.

What is one way to win over your heart?
try not to

What is one way to keep it?
whut? PFFFF, not gunna happen dude

What is the worst possible thing that someone could do to you?
there probobly isnt just ONE thing.

What is the most you have ever eaten in one sitting?
probobly something at christmas or thanksgiving....

What is the best way for someone to show they are interested in you?
.....idk, just....interact? just be there and be part of my life....you'd have to like...tell me though so i'd get a clue...

Do you have a favorite memory?
a bunch of them...

The first band you remember liking?
....well shit, i dont remember

What is your favorite thing about the opposite gender?
......fuck if i know, i guess guys are more blunt and easy to understand

What is your favorite thing about your own gender?
LOL amazingly enough, i dont like my own gender that much XD i like girls who stick it to the stereotype. those who do are really easy to relate to, we usualy have alot in common.

Favorite song to dance to?
DUDE. I DO NOT FUCKING DANCE. but i like listening to good techno/and or club shit thats actually good sometimes to dance to. well.....like, shoe tapping and bobbing heads...."dancing"

Favorite video game?
i dont really play video games. but i like zeldo, assassin's creed and that disney one (it has nice graphics)

What's worse for you--being thirsty, or being hungry?
it really depends on the situation. really.

Walk along a beach, or hike in the mountains?
Mountains. fucking beach has too much sun. i woudnt mind the beach at night/getting dark out though. that would be nice.

Why do people argue over whether cats or dogs are better?
because they cannot realise that cast win.

Would you rather be an only child, or have 6 bro's and sis's?
FUCKING ONLY.

What is something you are ashamed to admit you cannot do?
play saxaphone D:

What is something you are ashamed to admit you do?
.....knit...

What is your favorite season, and why?
AUTUMN. because its a comfortable temperature. and because it startes to get cold and my birthday is in autumn...well...it is in the northern hemisphere....

What's the longest book you've ever read?
...hitchhickers?

Does your family have any unusual/unconventional traditions?
well....fuck.....yeah...

Have you been through the D.A.R.E. program?
HAH. no. i'm not that lame.

What do you eat on a "fat day?"
what?

Do you know your I.Q.?
No

What is the worst lie that you have ever told?
i've told shitloads. not sure which is the worst.

Did you get away with it, or were you found out?
I have always gotten away with it.

Do you deal well with guilt?
usually. depends on the situation

Are you impulsive?
yes. but i have great control over my impulses.

Manipulative?
yeah.....i dont manipulate those i care about though

What is your favorite word?
SHIT I DUNNO. REALLY, WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?

Saying?
changes way to often to bother with putting one down here i stick with "the world ended and i missed it" alot though

Quote?
my friends always come up with cool shit, so i stick with theirs.

What turns you on, as far as someone's appearance goes?
......idk

How did your first relationship end?
HAH. what relationship?

How did your first friendship end?
i moved....

Are you one to debate?
depends what the debate is about

What do you do when a pet dies?
bury them?

Are you nosy?
Insanely so

Do you pay particular attention to what you eat?
No.

If you made $50 for every survey you took, how much would you be making?
i'd be a fucking millionare by now

Do you have a favorite sports team?
Nope.

How much did you spend on the shirt you're wearing?
$15

Do you live in an apartment building or a house?
House.

What was the last thing you had to eat and drink?
veggie stir fry and water

What is something you'd really love to do right now?
Talk to friends

When and why did you last cry?
.......mmmm....not since america i think

Is there a person who used to make you happy that you now dislike?
yup

What band do you hate the most and why?
popular bullshit

What is one thing you would never eat even if paid?
shit that would kill me?

Do you have an addiction to anything?
sugar. i already have an iron deficiency. so if i dont eat sugar i have even less energy than usual.

Have you decided what career you would like to pursue?
Yep.

What color is your dining room table, if you have one?
Brown.

What brand of bubble gum do you like best?
extra or wintergreen

What color are your keyboard and mouse?
white

When was the last time you watched School of Rock?
last year

Are you excited for Sims 3 to come out?
meh, sure

Are you upset for any reason right now, and if so, why?
i have reasons to be, but i am not

What was the last movie you watched and who did you watch it with?
ultraviolet with mum and john

Do you miss anyone right now, and if so, who and why?
yeah, friends

How many pairs of shoes do you own?
three

Any plans for tomorrow?
Not really.

What is your favorite fruit?
canteloupe

When is the last time you spoke to your parents?
mum a few hours ago. dickhead not since january

Are you going to move within the next year?
If college counts.

What color is your favorite hoodie?
black

Do you name inanimate objects?
Only stuff i like

Have you ever written a love letter to someone?
yup

When was the last time you felt embarrassed and what happened?
saturday (birthday)

What song are you currently listening to?
you're gonna fo far kid- the offspring



FUCK THAT WAS LONG D:

IDK YOU'LL ONLY GET THAT IF YOU'VE HEARD THE SONG.

update real shit later

doing this which i ripped off of tana who in turn ripped it off of ri.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Sano
2. Spark
3. Reen

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Sano-Ryuujin
2. Sano
3. Sano Dammit

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My eye colour (green FUK YEH)
2. that i'm pale
3. i understand people easily and can be trusted with secrets

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. MY FACE.
2. MY BODY.
3. MY EYESIGHT.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR ETHNIC HERITAGE:
1. Italian
2. a tiny tiny bit of irish
3. cherokee somewhere in there

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. strangers
2. Needles.
3. large crowds of people

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. fucking chocolate
2. CURSING.
3. some kind of communication with someone close to me.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. shirt
2. socks
3. sweatpants (ALL BLACK)

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS (at the moment):
1. Mindless Self Indulgence
2. Crossfade
3. Nickelback

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (at the moment):
1. You're Gonna Go Far Kid- the Offspring
2. Panic Prone- Chevelle
3. The Day That Never Comes- Metallica

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 5 MONTHS:
1. LEARN HOW TO MAKE PLUSHIES
2. wearing a proper dress...
3. a proper painted canvas art peice

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. to be completely comfortable when were around each other
2. we have to be able to tell each other everything.
3. they have to be able to put up with my stupidity man. seriously.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. I've stabbed my sister in the face with scissors (THIS IS THE LIE I STABBED HER IN THE EYE)
2. I've jumped off a moving truck
3. I have been hospitalised more than ten times

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes
2. Hair
3. Attitude

THREE FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. ART. le duh~
2. music (drums, guitar, bass)
3. drama (stage and film)
4. Being with/chatting with my friends

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. MORE LIKE SOMEONE  eh eh (DITTO WITH RI ON THIS ONE LOLOL) (AND WIT THIS, I ALSO HAVE TO AGREE)
2. take a shower
3. lose ten kilos

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Animation artist
2. Props designer/creator
3. Event manager (the person who would run concerts and events like that)

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Ireland (FUK YAH)
2. Italy
3. Spain

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Meet my closest internet friends IRL
2. Hang-glide
3. Stalk MSI on a tour

THREE KIDS' NAMES:
(girl)
1. Cheryl
2. Natalie
3. Linda
(boy)
1. Alex
2. Vis
3. Tim

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I will beat you up without a moments hesitation if i think you deserve it
2. I curse all the fucking time and tend to not care who i piss off
3. I wear pants almost all the time

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. I care about my overall apperance
2. I care rediculously much about the people i care about
3. I have my ears peirced (I KNOW TAT CAN BE BOTH BUT I COUDNT THINK OF ANYTHING)

RIGHT.

so.....it might not have actually been me that that group was talking about.

i only made a minor fuck-up.....but apparently some other douchebag made a major fuck-up and refused to admit it....

so i sent an e-mail to the admins.....i hope to get a reply soon....

i might actually get in....

huzzah....

but whatever...

been evaluating on the character i am using for its' past though...

quite like it so far....but thats all the boring crap.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RIGHT SO.

heavy as, badly written daytime soap opera TV type shit going on in life right now....

a bunch of my friends are involved.....and if it gets legal i have to take a stand too.....god i hope it doesn't come to that....but, my friend went out drinking tongiht, and i'm kinda worried for her.....we're supposed to go to the movies and then go to the doctors for her tommorrow....and i was supposed to have an answer for another friend today....

i worry about her though....

/end boring irl crap

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WELL FUCK.

I HAVEN'T SEEN PEOPLE ON FOR DAYS.

NOT MY FAULT WITH TIMEZONES BTW.

GNAT

I MISS YOU, YOU FREAK.

DO YOU WANT TOO SEE GNAT HEATON AND SPARKLER SKETCHES OR WHAT?

/why bother she doesn't read this

blargh

i bet everyone is like, getting in in bloody three in the morning or something

and then gets off at like, seven

WHEN I'M FUCKING ALSEEP/TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP.

YOU ALL SUCK.

AND I MISS YOU ALL

BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

/wrist

i'm still not that cooooooooooool

i'm just not that greeeeeeeeeat

to suckers found out a little too laaaaaaaaate

you thought that this shiiiiiiit

would right fucking roooooock

but your friends were riiiiiiiiight

cause i fucking SUCK.

THAT SONG.

IT IS FUCKING AMAZING.

IT IS GREAT TO SING ON A DAY LIKE TODAY.

WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE COMPLETE SHIT AND WANT TO BASH SOMEONES MOTHERFUCKING CUNT ASS FACE IN.

ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH /ANGRY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

well.

see.

we had to re-film EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMNED SCENE THAT WE DID ON FRIDAY.

because the audio was messed up.

and so.

we were at tim's till eight o clock- EIGHT O' FUCKING CLOCK- re-filming every single god damn motherfucking son of a bitch scene.

and we had to film the extra bit where i rant and then we had to re-do the fight scene this morning. i had to get punched more. i was so ready to start landing the extras on their ass by the time we were finished. and fucking other poeple kept walking by and looking at the camera which RUINED THE SHOT AND SO WE HAD TO DO IT AGAIN.

and then mariah blew cigarette smoke in my face so i coundn't breathe for fucking hours. blargh.

not to mention i have mu musicv composition due tommorrow, and my art majors are due extremely soon too. all my theory work was last minute bullshot too, so i am going to be lucky to scrape by with a D this term....for just about everything.

i think drama is the only class i'm going to be okay in. that is, if this student teacher doesnt stop stereotyping me and drop my grade.

fuckhead. she refered to me in context the whole time when she was ranting to uss. bitch. argh. she obviously thinks i'm a derilect. it pisses me off.

AND THERE IS MORE IRL BULLSHIT HAPPENING. JOY. UGH.

i worry so much for one of my friends in particular. i wish i could help her out, but she's stubborn and keeps me out of the loop. i keep learning things about her from friends that i have not heard from her. its like "oh....you diddnt know that spark?.....oops"

i fear she may be blocking me out.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


mum fucked over her knee too. so now i haven been driven insane from all the extra shit i keep having to do. my sisters being the lousy, fat, ugly, stupid bitch face she always is and is doing NOTHING as well. if there were an ultimate insult, this right here is where it would go.



AND HERE IS THE LOVELY FINAL NOTE ON MY RAMAGE OF INSANE ANGER:

this guy i detest with every fibre of my being desiced to tell one of my friends that i was bad at swords.

after eight years of practicing, and having my second degree of black belt in it, apparently i am bad at swords.

i can't even out this in capitals it makes me so angry. impossibly so. i would have punched him out excpet i get exported if i am expelled or arrested. fuck.

bastard insulted my drawings too. i. want. to. kill. him.

Zeen:
"ITS CURTAINS FOR YOU SPARKSTER"

Spark:
"HRRGGHHHH"

Zeen:
"LACY, GENTLY WAFTING CURTAINS..."

Spark:
"....WTF?" *facecar*

lol

THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW OF ZEEN WILL BE CONFUSED BY THIS.

but yeah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

updates are large and whole, but i will save your eyes from burning in their sockets from overexposure to this page by summarising it best i can. All hopsital bills will be ingored if you choose to endanger yourself.

SWORDS:

Gumdo is kinda iffy right now. There is a shitload of tension going on with all my buddies. Karli is doing so much shit that i can't even wrap my head around it all. I wonder if she realises that i worry about her so much sometimes that i swear she's part of the reason i'm sleeping so little lately. Gods, life sucks dick.

Also, it seems that my mother is trying to tear me from my position in the Gumdo pecking order. Sometimes i think she just wants to replace me with someone else. She should not even be teaching other poeple the higher black belt forms untill shitloads later. I had to wait years, its unfair that others shoudnt have to. Nobody is skilled enough yet to do it anyway. If all the others sit in their first dans for awhile, it will probobly help with their perspective. I definetly do not think that John should be letting anyone grade next year. I reckon that he should wait till not even next year, but the year ater that. Then i will be going for my 3rd dan by then and then they can go for their second. David will probobly be a fourth by then if he can learn the rest of the bonguk. I'm not sure how thats going for him. He still doesnt talk to me much. I still think he dosn't really like me despite what anyone says. Its not like he ever talks to anyone enough to actually tell them to their face that he doesn't like me, but i can take a hint. Body language i think is something that i have learned alot about from being a complete loner in so many years of school.

I'll miss the demo on sunday because of CAD too. We were filming the scenes with me and Nizhef and Tim, but we forgot an entire scene and so we're going to have to do the extra filming time we set aside on monday. We were an hour overdue for only three scenes, so i do not even want to think about tommorrow. Its going to be complete hell with what we all have to do. We're only doing like, two of my major scenes too. I had to help set up lights too and it was a pain in the bitch to get everything right. That, and Kalman kept fucking around with the sound equipment. Bianca threw a bitchfit when Mrs.Williams was late picking her up and i had to wait around like a freakin bogon in my sweats in from of the school untill Lani picked us up. And i thought it was going to be bloody Mrs Sherie too.

School is shit in general. Purtle is pissed at me because i keep having to miss band. He doesn't seem to get that band takes the backseat when i have more pressing priorities to attend too. I got a good part in the new songs we got though. I have a cool tom-tom part for a song that Finch wrote, and i have timps on two other songs and bass for a song called the dam busters that was apparently a british play. Perccusion Ensamble kinda died too. I have no idea if Purtle is going to bother with it aymore. But i kinda look forward to seeing less of CJ though. Cock sucking bastard needs to burn in hell.

Art is going slow, an i need to finish both my spiderweb prints, my line-o print and my final theory work before tuesday. Also have to do two performance evaluations for drama. AND i have to do a documentary report by tuesday as well. not ot mention i have to finish my music composition that i swear to god is going to send me into a complete psycotic breakdown. FUCK.

So i am going to watch Dr. Horrible untill class starts and then work untill i cry blood.

So over life.

END OF TERM CANNOT COME FAST ENOUGH.

i am going to bomb exams so hard.

fuck all.

school sucks cock.

i wish i could get onthe comuter more. i miss all my online friends. I hope to get onto aim with everyone sometime next week when i am done with filming and i have all my assessments done. Then all i have to worry about is block exams. I miss Gnat, Manda, Tobi, Tana, Laur, Mika, Ri, Eggie, Kaitlin, Buggie, Bis, Meep, Sheep, Dants, Beta, Linds, Devvie, Megs, Kami, AND FREAKIN EVERYONE BAWWWWWWWW GOD I WISH I COULD TALK TO YOU GUYS ALL DAY.

i also discovered a whole medly of new mental disorders i think i have on the internet : D man, doctors name everything nowadays.